Tuesday, March 31, 2009



Things are finally starting to make themselves clear as mud when it comes to employment. I consider myself lucky because I have had multiple opportunities amidst this turmoil in our country along with the horrible job market that is Rexburg/Idaho Falls. The only way to find a job is to get out of Rexburg...You can find one in Rexburg eventually but do you really want to work at DQ? Or cleaning bathrooms in the mornings in the McKay? Didn't think so. Don't get me wrong...Petsmart and now Olive Garden were not my first choices when it comes to employment, but they have both turned into amazing opportunities.

For a good two month period I was pretty confident that I would need to leave Idaho and move somewhere that I could live. I can afford to live here in Idaho, but going to school at the same time makes it very hard making close to minimum wage. Alas things have worked out for the good. Finally a restaurant came through with one of my applications let alone Olive Garden, my 2nd choice. (1st choice is Texas Roadhouse just because it costs a bit more and I'm from Texas). That happened at the same time that Petsmart promoted me to Dog Trainer. So here I go from making barely above minimum to making where I was with Melaleuca almost, along with OG which has the income potential to top $20 an hour easily.

So some of you may ask how I can get so luckily especially up here in Rexburg. In the real world, these jobs are nothing but in Eastern Idaho they're not bad. I promoted at Petsmart in 5 weeks to a position that pays commission along with a decent raise. I got a job at Olive Garden among 500 applicants. I think that some of it has to do with the Man upstairs. I have been also fortunate enough to develop skills in other jobs that allow me to stand out among applicants and my peers. 5+ years of customer service jobs, 3 years in a management roll.

I agree with the statement of "No place wants to hire me because I don't have experience but how am I supposed to get experience if no one will hire me?" How to overcome this is A) Getting lucky or B) starting with random small market companies. They'll give you the job without experience but you won't get a good pay nor will you be where you want to be. But money is money and becoming a better worker is invaluable. I have worked with people who have never ever had a job and most of them are horrible workers. Absolutely horrible and that's why people want you to have experience. Whereas I can get my job done, talk to people, and increase revenue for the company all while having fun, working hard and giving great customer service. Tricks of the trade eh? Anywhos...happy Month End...


PS: I'm trying to get another Osnat. Wish me luck...

Friday, February 6, 2009

It's Been A While...


Wow! It has been quite a while since the last post. I forgot you even existed but isn't that always the case? Its like a journal; you just always forget to write what's going on. Well time to update my life and what is going on. I no longer work for my current employer Melaleuca. I ran into some hard opposition and difficulties that I no longer find myself with the company. Its all good though. I've been gone for close to a month now and I find it actually beneficial. I love not being there anymore and as I hear about the way things are headed with the company. It's not a place I want to be associated with any longer. So life is good. Tax refund, 160 hours of vacation cashed out, 401k cashed out. I'm doing good for the next few months. I'll start work at another call center this month and at Petsmart in the mornings as well. I'm okay with both of those jobs because they let me fly under the radar and do what I've got to do.

Another longer relationship has also passed in my life with Jenny. We dated for 5 months and practically got engaged. It would had been a bold move for me to go and get engaged and I'm glad that I didn't do it. I just wasn't ready for it at this point in my life with Jenny. I don't know if I ever will but so be it. It all ended in August officially...however beyond official guidelines it lasted longer...

I want to be graduated ASAP and if I can find the right job (ie restaurant) then I will be out of Rexburg in a year and on with my own life finally. I would like to find my way to the east coast for graduate school just because its a place I haven't been before and I'm getting sick of being west of the Mississippi. Maybe I'll find my way to Penn State or UMass. Who knows? However it works I'm in the same place as almost a year ago. I need to expidite the process...


Sunday, May 11, 2008


In walking to class every day the same exact thoughts come to my mind. They are as follows:"Follow the path, Mr. Masoudi. Walk where the great men before you have walked."-emperors club.

Everytime I see people walking across the grass or cutting corners on sidewalks or riding their bikes across the grass, I think this. I hate seeing people ruining the grounds because it takes 3 more strides to get where the want to be.

The other one is something I heard somewhere. "There are two types of people. Those who walk with their face down looking at what is right there, and those who have their heads held high looking into the future and trusting that what is coming will not change"

I always try and walk with my head up looking forward making eye contact with whomever will give it to me. just an observation.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Constant Struggle That Is Life


Always so many thoughts running through my head that its not funny. I knew when this week started that it was going to be a bad week. I just had this really really huge feeling that it would and it hasn't let me down yet. From my bank account getting locked up because someone tried to access it which caused like 6 overdraft fees, to once again work stressing me out. Because I spoke my mind about not being happy I dropped in all the managers eyes and its true cause I saw their rankings today and i slid big time. That's okay...I don't really care what they think or anyone besides my family. No one else really loves me so it doesn't matter to me. I want to get out of my current department once again because I want a bigger challenge and I want to get paid to take that challenge. I'm not a money grabber but we could all use more and I need to get to a place that will truly challenge me. I decided to stick with Psych no matter what. I need to work a job that I'm the boss that way it is all on me to succeed or fail. Its just what I need. I can't do the corporate thing. It just doesn't work for me. So that's settled and I'm going to be done with school ASAP because I need to get out of here. I can't take it. Its killing me being in this place with few if any true friends. I've never been one to amass tons of friends. I like having a close 5 or 6 that I always do stuff with. Its much easier to trust them then. I have maybe 2 or 3 at this point in my life up here. I don't have time to make tons of friends. That doesn't bother me cause I'm about ready to reenter the reclusive stages of my life where I do what I need to do and don't worry about being social. Outside of a possible date this weekend, that's my last true social event.

Dating is an always frustrating thing to everyone at some point in their life. I'm just like everyone else that I'm sick of it and trying. Right now I just don't try enough because I don't think the other person cares at all about dating and just is worrying about themselves. Hard for me to invest time and effort into something that isn't going to do me any good. I know you're probably thinking "wow he thinks too much about it, its just dating". But at the same time I don't want a girl to think "we're just dating" or not caring or thinking about it. That is never a girl that I want to date even though I've been stuck with several in my past experiences. Life is fun. That's really all it boils down to. No one can argue that fact. I'm going to get out of my current department into a real one that will challenge me and get out of here and onto graduate school ASAP. Get done with that and start to finally enjoy life. Cause right now the joy in life is so far and few that its tough. I don't enjoy much more at all. Not music, games, movies, tv. I really only enjoy sports and that's just about it. That and being with my family. My mom told me today that they're going to put our dog to sleep and I'm really saddened about that because that dog is family. 14 years of my life with that dog. She knows me better than most. I can just go out and talk to her and sit down with her and enjoy doing nothing. Love that dog. That was a really random tangent but that dog is the 7th member of our family. So anywho's when I figure out how this weekend goes I will let you know. If the date turns into something then I bet I avoid the recluse stage. If it doesn't then who knows. Love life...


Monday, February 11, 2008



Sometimes you just wonder. That's been me recently. Ever since deciding to stay in my current position I wonder if it was the right thing to do. I love where I am at no matter how unchallenging the job may be. Its just nice to interact with the same people on a day to day basis. Right now I'm at a point where I just kind of shut myself off from the world. My roommate is gone now so I miss that social interaction. I've given up on dating right now because it just causes me to get too emotionally involved with everything. Its just an interesting time. I'm debating taking 21 credits and working full-time just to make sure 100% of my time is occupied with something. I joined back up in football to give me something to work towards because my job doesn't give me that anymore. That'll be a nice release to just be myself. I honestly don't know what to think about everything in my life. I just changed my major for the last time I swear. Now it's something that will set my up for a corporate job and no longer working for myself. I'm okay with this because I know I can be happy this way and I don't mind the 8-5 grind that everyone else hates. It's fine with me for now.

Financially everything is going well but at the same time I want more money. Who doesn't is the better question? I think what everything kinda boils down to is a slight lack of self worth. (maybe i should still be a psych major). Ever since my 16 month relationship died (my first and probably only true relationship so far in my life, no offense to the other ones) things have been crazy. I lost a lot of my energy and approach to life. Things kinda suck like that but I'm okay with that. I don't have to be the socialite that I was in high school and before/during that relationship. I've kinda found a new me since coming to school 1800 miles from "home". Its a new me that is a little more timid at first. A me that thinks about everything and plans every aspect of my life and strangely at the same time plan none of it. A me that only truly trusts myself. I'm okay with all of that because I can't complain about this junction in my life. I just wonder what the post college me will bring in a year. If I will be the same. If I will revert back to the old me or if a new me will form. I think it's the last one because I will move away from everyone and everything and form a new me. I've already decided that I will legally change my name to clear everything and start anew. Some people may call that running away from my problems but I don't have any problems. They have all been addressed and I'm fine with it all no matter what the consequence. I just love the idea of reforming who you are in life. That's not always an option for most. If your single and post college yes. If you're married or in college or high school its not unless you move to a place where no one knows you.

So anywho's I'm kinda just content doing my own thing right now and at a "beat" of a different drummer. I think after my already planned dates that I won't go on anymore for a while until I get that urge again. I think I will become a little more reclusive just because I need to do my own thing and if I'm a socialite then I'm setting myself up to become attached to others which right now isn't what I need because attachment hasn't ever gotten me anywhere. Why would it surprise me now. Sometimes you just wonder...


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Another Day


Another day in my life. Today was happily better and a little less stressful. Most everything on my mind is work related but at times it drifts upon schooling/finances and the ladies. Work was good. I went to lunch with my bosses boss to a Sushi bar and we talked. I stayed up really late last night "ideating" (ibm commercial) and came up with several ideas about how to improve many facets at work. It was really night and I gave it to him at lunch and got to know him better. Spilled some soy sauce on my favorite tie but I've never been the cleanest eater. So we talked and had a good time and it was good to see him on a personal level. He asked about me as a person and got my life story. Everything from Dallas, To Peru. To Denise to Abby. He knew a lot about me. Its just the the candid person that he is. So everything went smooth and then I had my interview for the transfer. That went by without a hitch in my mind and I really enjoyed the whole process. 2nd interview on Friday. After that I just worked hard and tried to enjoy everything with my colleagues and the people who I'm over. Planned a lot about the future of the company and the role my department plays and got ready to move around my team on Monday with the addition of a new team.

The taxing part came in my weekly one-on-one meeting with my boss. Things were nice and we talked about my team and my ideas for all of work. It really frustrated me when he told me that he sat down with his boss and talked to the hiring manager for the position that I'm debating transferring into and said that he would be a fool not to hire me and pretty much told me that the position was mine unless I completely blow it. That frustrates me! No where in my life do I ever want someone to petition for me. If I get promoted, a raise, more responsibility I want it to be because I deserve it and not because someone petitioned for me. If higher level management can't see how hard of a worker I am then I don't want them to promote me or give me a raise. The problem arises when they're always looking at the people that my manager brings up to them instead of getting to know us by himself. Its quite frustrating.

On the financial side things are going well and I'm doing more than fine for my needs right now and its nice to have some play money. School is frustrating me because I have a future in the company I work for but my major is too complex for the job. I could "dumb" down my major to communications or something like that and work just fine for the company. Instead I ride out this Psych major because I don't know if the typical corporate environment is whats best for me. I like the idea of being a teacher or owning my own business but I know I can make six figures climbing the corporate ladder. The problem with that idea is risking the ladder falling and me with it whereas if I work my own business or as a professor there is more stability in my mind.

The 3rd factor is relationships. Girls are really funny to me at school here. I'm not the dating around type. Its just not the way I was raised and I tried it once and it got me into nothing but trouble. So I debate even going out on dates because of my past experiences. Its so hard to just risk it all again. Once you've gone from love to nothing its hard because you want love so much again in your life. Yea I know its the sappy emotionalist in me but what can I say. Anywhos I wish girls would just say their intentions. Much easier...

Okay there's a party starting up at my house and I guess I should be out there instead of in my room blogging away to "How's it going to be" by third eye blind


Working it out...


So here's the first of maybe many vents to the blogging community. Life is fun and all the stuff that it throws out at you. I get so frustrated with certain aspects and recently its been work. Whenever I have a deep down inside issue I never let anyone know and I never let it get out. That's just the type of person I am and it will never change. My ex of 16 months already tried and it never truly worked. So for the past 3 months at work I have acted like everything is going great when really deep down inside I'm troubled with quite a bit. My dilemma is that I don't trust my boss to be confidential, a lot of issues are about his wife and her role at work, and the fact that I've gotten betrayed in the past. I don't trust my boss because he used to be my boss, then I got promoted so we were co workers and then he was promoted again to my boss so its really tough to let him be that again after we became friends. I feel like I know more about my job than he does and he tells me that I do. I'm never the best person at work in their (all the boss') minds yet I never get feedback for how to improve. Just that I'm doing awesome and I'm one of the best performers yet never the best and never feedback on how to get there. The only reason that has ever been given is because of the length of my performance in my current role. That could make complete sense except the boss' wife has been in her similar position for less amount of time yet she is technically better than me. I feel like I've gotten betrayed because he wasn't honest with me about things because that can't be an honest reason. Its giving feedback for the sake of feedback but not being honest in my mind. The other reason that I feel like I've gotten betrayed is because I was offered a move to a better department and was told that it was my position if I wanted it because I was the best he had working for him but I wanted to be fair to everyone else and interview. None the less there were no interviews and the position and it was appointed to everyone else and I was told the reason I didn't get the position was because it was better for the company to leave me where I was. So in my mind they didn't have my best interest in mind. So if the company isn't looking out for me then I must look out for myself. I'm not the only one who feels like this at work and its frustrating to all of us because we're scared to go to management in fear of retribution and lack of raises, promotions,etcetera.

So that's the problem. How it is getting fixed is kinda up in the air. I'm debating moving to a new department because I fear that this department can't get their act together. The shining moment in this is that my boss started to freak out a little bit and get worried about me leaving saying that the department I was over will fall apart without me there. My only question is, if I'm so vital then why haven't you done more to keep me? Why am I not one of the best? More areas that are problems is that I feel like I've stop progressing where I currently am. So that is also why I would like to be transferred. Back to the shining moment, my boss freaking out. He freaked out so he talked to his boss and his boss pulled me aside and we talked for 45 minutes about everything. He actually got me and everything that I had in my mind. I told him everything that was on my mind because none of it involved him in my mind. It involved his subordinates and the issues I had with them. It really is the only thing that's keeping me where I am and I hate to be like that. The issue I see coming up with is that I don't know if I will ever can trust my boss again. Its going to be too hard to just be open and candid about everything when I feel like I have gotten betrayed. I don't honestly know what to do in the situation. Its a hard place to be in because at every other job I would have quit by now because of the lack of a challenge. So what I really need to do is give myself a challenge. The problem for me is finding that challenge when all expectations have been met and exceeded in my eyes and in the eyes of my superiors. I have a hard time getting mad at myself about tiny little things that don't affect (don't know if that's the right effect/affect) my performance.

So tomorrow (what is now today) I will haver lunch with my bosses boss right before going to an interview for my transfer. I don't know what to honestly do and I hope my bosses boss can help me address some of the issues about everything. Because if they're not addressed then it may be the last lunch I have with him. Life is fun...